The Pronoun WE and Couples

VINCENT A. SANDOVAL wrote about the power of what is being said in a portion of an article from The FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin concerning this topic.

A verbatim transcript of an interview with a man suspected of raping a known female acquaintance provides an effective illustration.

Following his description of the sex act, which he claimed was consensual, the suspect said, “I put her clothes on and, um, and she and I walked outside and said our good-byes. I gave her a hug and told her I had a good time and she talked for a minute and then I left. I walked home.”

This brief statement warranted close examination by investigators.

Among other things, they especially paid attention to the words that conveyed conversation: “she and I...said our good-byes. I...told her I had a good time and she talked for a minute and then I left.”

Of importance, the suspect never used the pronoun we to describe the two, but, instead, he said, “she and I.”

In sexual assault cases, especially those where the subject alleges that the sexual contact was consensual, investigators should listen closely for the absence of the pronoun we, which would suggest that a healthy relationship did not exist between the two individuals and, thus, increases the likelihood that the sexual contact was less then consensual.

Notice how the person you are involved with romantically refers to the two of you- this can be very telling... especially when you notice a change.◦

The Pronoun WE and Couples