You Are Suspious... How to ask the questions.

Okay, you suspect something. Something bad. You want to tear apart the telephone book. What should you do?

1) Do not attack with something like, "Are you cheating on me?"

You need to learn the art of gaining information without the other person knowing you are on an intelligence mission.

If you would ask straight out, "Are you cheating on me?" the other person is immediately on the defensive, and you'll get nowhere.

2) Ask a question where you could get either:

- A casual answer which means nothing has occurred,
- Or some sort of defensive answer, or some sort of nonverbal clue that he/she knows what you are getting at.


In the above example, let's say your boyfriend went out with some friends and did not come home until the next day. You tried his phone only a couple of times(hopefully) and now instead of asking "Are you cheating on me?" let's look at some questions you could ask:

- Did you have fun last night?
- Where did you end up sleeping?
- Did everybody crash there?
- Did you get any sleep last night?

NOTE: It is critical that you maintain control of your voice and ask the questions without an accusatory tone.

So you get a casual answer to one of the questions above, "Really?"

A well placed "Really?" is a great way to get a read on the non verbals and is not a direct confrontation.


It is not always easy, but is made easier if you think carefully how to approach the conversation.◦

You Are Suspious... How to ask the questions.