Melzer of Austria reacts (subtle surpise, antigravity, and pacifying) during his match against Nadal of Spain at the Shanghai Masters...

Jurgen Melzer of Austria reacts during his match against Rafael Nadal of Spain at the Shanghai Masters tennis tournament October 14, 2010. Melzer won the match.

This is one of the better pictures in sports. Subtle surprise shown with his dropping of his jaw and mouth open; Anti gravity reaction by lifting his arms up; and pacifying by placing his racket on his head. Whenever I see a picture with this much going on, it is definitely a pic worth a thousand words.◦

Melzer of Austria reacts (subtle surpise, antigravity, and pacifying) during his match against Nadal of Spain at the Shanghai Masters...

Touching the Ear (or Around the Ear) and What it Means

Writer Ken Auletta speaks at the 2010 New Yorker Festival at SVA Theatre 2 on October 2, 2010 in New York City.

If we are touching around the ear while we are speaking it could mean we do not like what we are saying- or what we have to say.

If we are listening, it means we do not like what is being said.

The science about it is the ear (and nose) it is very thin, and when we are bothered, the nerve ending can become exited and subconsciously we often reach for the ear so the nerve ending do not bother us- it is a pacifying touch.

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Touching the Ear (or Around the Ear) and What it Means

Do Not Confuse This Gesture With the High Confidence Steeple

Hungary's Development Minister Tamas Fellegi gestures during an interview with Reuters in Budapest June 14, 2010. Hungary's government will start talks with Russia's Surgutneftegaz about Surgut's 21 percent stake in oil group MOL, Fellegi said on Monday.

The steeple and the prayer gesture are very close, evaluate the gesture in the context of what is occurring. Since he is also touching his face (pacifying), and his eyes are unfocused, this gesture is not the high confidence steeple gesture.◦

Do Not Confuse This Gesture With the High Confidence Steeple

When We Pinch Our Lower Lip With Our Fingers

Chairman Guido Westerwelle addresses the audience during the FDP Ephiphany conference on January 6, 2010 in Stuttgart, Germany. The Epiphany conference is the first party meeting of the FDP in this year to rework their general principles.

This is a pacifying gesture. Normally whenever we touch, lick with our tongue, or otherwise interact with our lips it is pacifying. This particular gesture is not all that unique, but what is interesting is how it pacifies us: It manipulates our lower lip into a suckling position which first provided us comfort when we were very, very young...◦

When We Pinch Our Lower Lip With Our Fingers

Not a Good Week for Basketball Coaches

Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski (top) and assistant Chris Collins react to the Blue Devils' loss of intensity midway through the second half of play against Long Beach State in Durham, North Carolina, on Tuesday, December 29, 2009.

Here we see pacifying behavior by both coaches; the interesting thing here is the assistant coach who is going well beyond eye blocking... this is more than eye blocking it is totally escapism which we see whenever someone is feeling intense discomfort. I often see this when people first hear extremely hard news to take, such as a death in the family...◦

Not a Good Week for Basketball Coaches

Rusty Interview from Dateline

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This is a study in someone who doesn't want to speak, is nervous, and shows us this with almost every movement. Things to look for are biting lips, scratching neck, nervous chuckle, pursed lips, shrugs, rubbing hands, faster blink rate, eye direction clues, answers a question with a question, torso and head pointing towards the exit.

I suggest watching this video several times.◦

Rusty Interview from Dateline

Suprasternal Notch and Women

This week in the latest Criminal Minds television show I saw this gesture. It is not often we see this gesture but the police and those that help victims of crimes against women are most likely to see it.

When woman touches the area between the neck and their breast bone it is a pacifying behavior. I first learned of this in the book What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People where the author describes how he would often see this gesture in the victims of assault.

I have often seen a variation of this gesture when women touch and play with their necklaces.

When you see this you are generally looking at someone who is experiencing some discomfort, emotional trauma, and/or insecurities.◦

Suprasternal Notch and Women

Surprise

We see full surprise in the eyes and mouth. When we see a person holding the cheeks of their face with both hands it is an intense emotion and they are attempting to self pacify.◦

Surprise

Charlie Davies Holds Hands on Top of His Head

Oct 10 2009
Charlie Davies. US Men's National Team vs Honduras at Estadio Olimpico in San Pedro Sula, Honduras. Photo via Newscom

What we are seeing here is Charlie, with his hands on top of his head, has been done after something bad has happened, and his touch is pacifying in nature.

This is an anti gravity gesture that shows he has energy but has no way to effectively use that energy to achieve his goal.

It is interesting because in many ways this is an ironic in nature since it is so close to the high confidence gesture of placing the hands behind the head and the anti gravity component to the gesture.◦

Charlie Davies Holds Hands on Top of His Head

Do We Really Have to Be Here?

WASHINGTON - OCTOBER 08: (L-R) Kathy Miller, board member of the Vermont Grocers' Association; David Evans, lecturer at the University of Chicago Law School; Mark Caverly of the Credit Union National Association and the Electronic Payments Coalition; and Ed Mierzwinski, senior fellow in the U.S. PIRG Consumer Program, testify during a hearing before the House Financial Services Committee on Capitol Hill October 8, 2009 in Washington, DC. The hearing focused on the Credit Card Interchange Fees Act of 2009 and the Expedited CARD Reform for Consumers Act. (Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images)

Their arms and mouths tell it all. They all are using their arms to retreat, protect, and self pacify. Their body language is not open and they are on guard. Each of them have downturned corners of their mouths which is unease. The tilting of their heads is a sign of listening.◦

Do We Really Have to Be Here?

UCLA Student's Throat Slashed in Lab, Man Held

Students and faculty at UCLA are stunned following a horrific attack in a campus chemistry lab in which a male student allegedly slashed the throat of a female victim.

When a person folds their arms after something like this it is a self hug and they are attempting to comfort themselves.

Rubbing the neck is a way to relieve stress and is a self pacifying gesture, it originates back to when we were babies and our parents would always hold our necks and the touch was comforting. Physical stress and pain can build in our neck muscles and touching them can relieve the stress.

Looking down is a way of blocking out the rest of the world so they can cognitively processed what has happened, it allows their brain to work without the distraction of what is going on in the present.

The young woman who is holding her hand over her mouth is still showing a great deal of fear or surprise in her eyes, evidenced by how wide she is holding them open. Holding her hand in front of her mouth is a defense mechanism to control herself so her emotion is not verbalized (it could be verbalized in screaming, crying, in words, or even exhaling her breathe).◦

UCLA Student's Throat Slashed in Lab, Man Held

Two Doctors Talking in a Nurse's Station

Here we see a great deal going on.

The doctor in the scrubs, by placing his hand on his hips, is making himself appear bigger and takes up more space.

The doctor in the lab coat is holding his hands in a self pacifying style; he is providing himself some self comfort by holding and rubbing his hands together.◦

Two Doctors Talking in a Nurse's Station

Jon Gosselin Host The Wet Republic Pool Party in Las Vegas

Aug 31 2009
Jon Gosselin of 'Jon & Kate Plus 8' hosts the Wet Republic pool party at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. Pictured: Jon Gosselin Picture by: Splash News

What we see here is a self pacifying lip lick. Whenever we feel uncomfortable we sometimes, subconsciously do little things that makes us feel just a little bit more secure.

Some people use sunglasses to keep people from being too close to them because they block others from noticing their eyes; others wear them simply wanting to appear cool. Jon only left them on for a couple of pictures so we cannot read too much into their presence here...◦

Jon Gosselin Host The Wet Republic Pool Party in Las Vegas

More to Love: Episode Four

Melissa and Lauren are sent home.

Wow are the producers/editors reading my blog?!?!? My techie is telling me there are a larger number of people from LA hitting the site. A larger part of my work is becoming consulting in the entertainment business so no biggie. I told him I didn't care and don't do the ip look up thingy...

Last week I made some big statements,

"They will be gone and they know it, Kristian and Danielle." I guess you can have a ring and still be gone, where was Kristian in this episode? Her minutes drastically cut!

and

"Where does Luke stand in all this? A big cardboard cutout could stand in for him." This week we see him emerge (slightly).

Onto the non verbals of this episode:

Good Wife/Bad Wife

Perhaps this clip will make it into some of my training materials. We have so much emotion. Role playing. Pacifying behavior. Subtle surprise. Truth. Head tilts. Shoulder shrugs. Eye movement. Non asymmetrical mouth positions. Sadness. Happiness and True smiles. Pursed lips. Eye direction clues. One shoulder shrug. Head tilts. Hand pointing. Social smiles. Nods. Anger. Face touching. Perverse pleasure at the expense of others pain. Watch and learn from this five minute clip showing more nonverbal and body language clues that I have ever seen in any reality TV show!




Greetings
Last week I mentioned, "Look at the greetings, it will be the best indication of the relationship. Excitement seen here is important."

Who wins?

Melissa's Greeting


Heather's Greeting


More Thoughts

Mandy clearly is showing much more emotion than she has this season. Luke is not an emotional guy, but I hear and see some things in this exchange that lead me to believe that Luke has a way to go:

- Luke does not show any emotion when she expresses 'calling a boyfriend' and shows non verbal clues that he is not planning on choosing her (sigh, mouth).
- Luke says, "It is going to get more difficult, not just for me, but for you" is a warning for her. Listen to the his voice. "not just for me" is said softer- it will not be as difficult for him as it will be for her.

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More to Love: Episode Four

Analysis of South Carolina's Governor, Mark Sanford's Press Conference

Role analysis, I believe he is truly sorry for what has happened, but why is he sorry? Is it for his family, for his friend, for his career/job? After reviewing the tape this is the order of importance:

1)Friends
2)Career/Job
3)Family

I based this on his emotional level as he is speaking about these things. Generally there could be a build up as the speech goes on, but in this speech if I had to rank the emotional level it would be 3 for family, 7 for friend, and 5 for job.

00:58 Eye Blocking, is a nonverbal behavior that can occur when we feel
threatened and/or don’t like what we see. In this case he doesn't like seeing the reporters and the media.

01:18 Looking Down, Shame. People who are feeling ashamed, embarrassed, or sad, deliberately look away. Shame is a negative emotion occurring when we evaluate things as going worse than we expected.

01:55 Slight Lip Lick (see below).

01:59 Microexpression Subtle, Sadness, in mouth only.

Generally he doesn't want to look straight ahead.

02:14 Lip Lick, is a pacifying behavior (often referred to as an adapter in academia literature) serving to calm us down after we experience something unpleasant or downright nasty.

03:00 More emotional when speaking about his friend than about his wife and family.

03:47 Lip Lick, pacifying behavior.

05:20 More comfortable speaking about faith, looking more straight on. This is odd because there should be some shame or emotion to convey he is in turmoil with his faith and what he has done. I believe this is a sign that is is most sorry for being caught.

06:15 Eyes Down, Shame.

07:26 Full Shoulder Shrug, this needs to be evaluated in the context of what is being said. The shrug is a universal gesture that is used to show that a person does not know or understand what you are talking about. In this case he doesn't know how this will end.

07:46 Expel Air, Relief.

08:11 Lip Lick, pacifying behavior.

08:20 Becoming more emotional over resignation (not of his governorship).

Voice Analysis


Final Analysis
It appears because of his emotional level, and his conversation with his father-in-law two weeks prior, that his marriage was in extreme jeopardy before this getaway. His last conversation with his father-in-law was not as civil as he portrays it in this speech. Due to his high emotional response when speaking of his friend and political partner, he had higher aspirations than just Governor. I believe he does not want his wife speaking to the media. It may also be that he wanted to get "caught" if his marriage was over, this could have been orchestrated to be as sensational as it was, to control the revelation, gain the upper hand, and receive national exposure. It would have been very messy if this was a drawn out divorce, that his career would not be able to handle. His resignation (not of the state) is an attempt to convey punishment.◦

Analysis of South Carolina's Governor, Mark Sanford's Press Conference